No Béarla

Manchán Magan begins his search for Irish speakers is a map shop in Dublin.

When his car breaks down whilst leaving Dundalk, he finds he can't find a mechanic as directory enquiries simply laugh at him. Whilst in Belfast, Manchán attempts to find an Irish speaker on the Falls Road.

In Letterkenny, Manchán decides to try something he has never done before – bowling – and heads to Arena 7, where he encounters a helpful assistant. He then visits a pharmacy to buy condoms or coiscíní and goes out to a nightclub in a bid to "get lucky". After many unsuccessful attempts at asking girls to dance with him, he finally finds an Irish-speaking lady who is happy to oblige. Later that night, he calls a phone sex line but the operator hangs up, not understanding him. Later in Galway, he tries his hand at busking and, singing the filthiest, most debauched lyrics he can think of to see if anyone will understand, old ladies smile and tap their feet merrily as he serenades them with filth.

Manchán gets lost in the Crawford Gallery in Cork, while in Killarney he hunts for souvenirs and tests local knowledge of Irish by trying to recruit accomplices for a bank robbery. In Cork Manchán first visits the English Market and, out on the streets, he meets RTÉ's John Creedon, an Irish speaker. He also attempts to get his hair cut but needs help from a fellow customer when the female barber, who was educated in Tennessee in the United States and has never spoken Irish, does not understand him. Whilst in Killarney, he successfully hires a bicycle and discovers he is only the second person to have spoken Irish in a souvenir shop (the first being Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh, who walked by and said a few words). At the conclusion Manchán visits the grave of Peig Sayers and reads one of her passages aloud.