You're Only Young Twice

Formidable Flora Petty dominates the Paradise Lodge retirement home, arguing with fellow residents Dolly Love, Mildred Farnshaw, and Katy O'Rourke, as well as dominating her friend Cissie Lupin. When a superior room becomes vacant, the ladies draw lots, only for it to be taken by a new — male — resident. However, when he leaves, Flora has a plan to persuade owner Miss Milton to let her move in.

When the vicar needs £500 to mend the church roof, Flora suggests a charity performance of The Sound of Music, but it's a disaster, leading to ex-actress Dolly putting on a show, which Flora sabotages in order to do her fake mind-reading act with Cissie. However, when the vicar decides he only needs a two minute contribution, it's Cissie and her rendition of 'The Merry Peasant' which is called upon to fill the bill.

When Cissie wins a car in a sweepstakes, the ladies are encouraged to rifle the store cupboard to collect coupons to emulate her. Flora is determined to get into the act, posing with Cissie for the local paper's photographer, and, on learning that Cissie cannot drive, offering to take it off her hands — though she's in for a shock when the car is delivered.

When Cissie accidentally buys a crystal ball, Dolly foretells misfortune, especially for Flora, but after Cissie lets in a man claiming to be the window-cleaner but is actually a burglar, Flora is the only resident not to have been robbed. She sets out to find the culprit but ends up attacking a policeman, whom she mistakes for the thief, thus bringing credence to Dolly's prophecy.

On her birthday, Flora characteristically withers about the cards and gifts received from staff and other residents, but perks up when Cissie tells her she has a surprise for her: a visit to the circus. However, Flora wrongly assumes it is a colour television and tries to hypnotise Cissie into giving it to her. The hypnotism works — but not on Cissie.

Paradise Lodge is expecting a visit from The Queen (Elizabeth II). The ladies bribe Miss Milton to hold an election to decide who will present a bouquet to the royal visitor. Cissie wins, much to Flora's annoyance, and Flora resorts to a fake sob story to persuade her friend to relinquish the privilege. Miss Milton, however, is wise to Flora's tactics.

Flora throws an anniversary dinner in memory of her late husband, and entrusts the culinary preparations to Cissie, which leads to a mix-up of labels, and Epsom salts are substituted for common salt, giving the diners the runs. The labels are replaced but somehow history manages to repeat itself — literally.